Saturday, September 15, 2018

#22 - Taos 9/15/18 -REFLECTION

Twelve days ago I celebrated my 79th birthday!  A little bittersweet.... Do I miss those long ago days when I had great legs, a nice smile and lived life with strong certainty that I could accomplish anything? - Hell, Yes!!!  Now I move ever more slowly and my word of the day, every day, is "Adapt"!  I walk with a cane - a crooked knee the result of my glory weightlifting days at the Northside Health Spa - I leg lifted 400 lbs - not a smart move.   A lovely lady named "Hope" comes in to help me clean twice a month.  Am working very hard to keep my home to  a certain minimalism in order to avoid having my own special on Hoarders!.  Willingly gave up my car keys about three years ago - figure I probably saved a few lives by staying off the highway!  Am finding this time in my life to be quite adventuresome - like visiting an unfamiliar planet!  I had no intention of ever being "old"!

The temptation is to pretend that I am still capable of setting the world on fire!  Yeah, right after my afternoon nap!  The other day I saw a woman doing a marathon for old people at the age of 106!  Damn!  Puts me to shame.  I am slower now - I stop and rest every so often while doing housework.  Satisfied that I won't make the Guinness Book of World Records anytime soon.  If there is an award for quiet determination, I will take first prize! 

The underpainting above"Autumn Fields at Ranchitos" is 60"x36" inches - I have been working on it for a while now and plan to have it finished by Monday or Tuesday of next week.  It is one of my favorite places - high on a ridge above this little valley.  Whenever life got too chaotic, I would get into my pickup truck and park on that little hill to feel the peace and silence.  Yes,  I still find great joy in my work -- purpose and meaning.

This blog is part of my new adventure.  Have wanted to quit several times, because some of it is very difficult to relive.  What I know for sure is that life is never lived in a straight line - there are no accidents.  There have been amazing "Wayshowers" throughout my life.  These writings are helping me to get reacquainted with them and to be grateful for their presence.  Am also realizing there was no "good" or "bad" - each experience was essential from the beginning until this very day!  Am certain there are some surprises waiting just around the corner!      

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