WORD PAINTINGS #118 - EARTH, WIND AND FIRE!!

 

25 April 2022     (Llano Quemado, New Mexico)  - All I can say is "WOW"!!! Yesterday definitely felt like the end of the world. Sixty mile an hour winds up here on the Llano (94 mile an hour at the Ski Valley).  Blowing from south toward Taos Mountain the sand and dust was thick enough to obscure the foothills.  Dried chamisa blowing across the road in bundles.  Have a picture in my mind that there is a neighbor's fence somewhere down the road piled high with these dried bolls of branches.  All this chaos and grit mixed with the smoke from a forest fire in the mountains near Las Vegas, N.M. Watched the plume of smoke rise every afternoon from my kitchen window since Thursday.  The winds feel stronger and more persistent than ever this spring. Does not bode well for the fire season!  Praying for soaking, drenching beautiful rain!

Two weeks of "one damned thing after another".  Put the brushes down on Centinelas de Oro and felt great loss at its completion.  A sale popped up immediately - four days of "should I? shouldn't I?".  The thought of anyone else hanging this piece on their wall made my heart hurt!  You guessed it - it is still drying in my office just waiting for a coat of varnish and framing.  Decided to have those beautiful golden sentinels keep me company for a very long time!

This painting is my "beginning of the end"; it is definitely a New Beginning.  At 82 the physical challenges of doing large or even medium canvases gets more difficult by the day.  How can it be I feel strongly that I am on the verge of doing some of my best work? Do I dare to dream?

Three boxes of new paints and brushes from Jerry's Artarama were delivered this week.  A big container of gesso included. Mixed Payne's Grey and the gesso together yesterday.  Clearing off my worktable in the back room to prep the blank canvases with the "grisaille".  Tremendous doubts about my mortality before I ordered the new supplies.  Finally the good feelings I get from Centinelas encourages me to move forward with a series of new paintings.  Hoping to document my progress on this blog.

The images for new paintings are settled and the source material is at the ready!  What the Hell!!! I'll never know if I don't try!   Doing a white board this week - want to have a loosey goosey plan to move forward. Each one of those pieces has been painted in my head at least a hundred times!  The time is now!

Ashamed of myself for complaining about the weather when there is so much death and destruction in Ukraine. My roots are in Poland, Germany and Prussia; I was born in Chicago two days after Hitler invaded the port of Danzig, Poland. On the map this is the same geographical neighborhood where all the bombs are destroying great histories and ancient cultures now in Ukraine.  This is World War III!  The same destruction, the same evil.  What I know for certain - despots will die, but the Ukranian spirit will survive! Cities can be reduced to ashes, but strong hearts and souls will bring Ukraine to Life again.

Jose Andres - founder of the World Central Kitchen is helping to feed the thousands of refugees in Poland and other countries surrounding Ukraine.  He believes people will begin to heal "one hot meal at a time".  This is a world-size challenge - we all need to pitch in - even five dollars will help!  Please donate if you can!

Let there be peace on Earth - hold someone close to your heart today!

 

WORD PAINTINGS #117 - A CANDLE FOR GRAMPA JIM

GOOD FRIDAY - 15 April 2022.  Just lit a candle for my Grampa Jim.  The story goes that Valentin Danielewski came over on the boat from either Prussia or Poland when he was eleven years old.  As a young adult he Americanized his name to Jim Daniels.  In time he married my grandmother Ella, adopted my mother and they had one child, my Aunt Jeanette.  He was 17 years younger than Ella but from all appearances they had a solid and happy marriage.  My brother and I lived with them more than we did our parents.  

Jim was a butcher by trade....and a good provider for his family.  Some Saturdays he would take me to the market stalls on Maxwell Street - fill me up with a farmer's homegrown tomatoes then we would go to his favorite tavern to see all his pals from work.  He would give me the signal to do my Shirley Temple dance and the pockets on my pinafore would soon be filled with silver dollars!  Grandma would be waiting with dinner Later we would sit by the radio and listen to Gospel Music from his favorite churches on the South Side of Chicago.  Jim was and still is my HERO!

My Dad was transferred to Milwaukee when I was eight and my brother was five.  We had to move and leave the safety and protection of my grandparents. Our moving boxes weren't yet unpacked when my mother met me at school to say that Grampa had a heart attack and died.  He was 48.  I really didn't know what it meant to die - I just knew I would never see the most important person in my life ever again. 

My parents enrolled me in Catechism class at St. Anthony's Catholic School and I quickly learned that there were only 3 places people went when they died - Heaven, Purgatory or HELL!   Our house was only 2 blocks away from St. Josaphat's Basilica - massive structure modeled after the Vatican. The main aisle with crucified Christ at the altar seemed to stretch  for miles.  Many of our Polish neighbors crawled up the aisle on their knees to do penance.  I decided to do the same - all the while praying for Grampa Jim to be released from Purgatory. I remember wanting to quit half way through - I was a little kid and my knees hurt really bad!  Somehow I made it and knew Grampa was one step closer to Heaven!

Jim didn't go to Mass, cussed and drank lots of beer!  However he made sure we always had food and a sense of security. He made us laugh. He  took great joy in taking us to Brookfield Zoo and the big amusement park with the "largest ferris wheel in the world".  We fished off the pier at Lake Michigan and caught our first blue gills and perch.  He was always present.  During the war he helped other families with food from Grandma's ration coupons.  Every night he would give my brother and I a big hug and put his forefinger to his mouth and say "Remember - a slip of the lip will sink a ship!"  Jim was a good and gentle man.

Later I told this to the priest at St. Anthony's.  Asked him how long it would take for me to pray my Grampa into Heaven.  He never smiled, just looked the long way down at me and sternly said "My dear, you will never pray him out of HELL!"  It took me 16 blocks to walk home that evening - and I cried all the way. 

Grampa Jim is in Heaven with all the other angels. In my 8 year old heart I knew that priest was wrong.   It has taken me years and years to find my own way - my own belief system.  I am at peace believing that there is no such place as Purgatory!!

WORD PAINTINGS #116 - CENTINELAS DE ORO

STUDIO #1322 - CENTINELAS DE ORO (Rio Grande at Pilar, New Mexico) NEW! 30"X40" Original Oil 

13 April 2022 (Llano Quemado, New Mexico) - Opened my window last night to hear the coyotes way down by the river.  The winds started up early this morning and they are Fierce!  Some gusts make the house shake.  Answered emails - called Dan Kuehn and made some changes to the website - breakfast - a shower.  Sat down at the easel to work on a 24"x30" and realized the wind was too much of a distraction.  Put in a load of laundry and will do dishes instead.  Doing the things in life which must be done. The calm simplicity of ordinary days. 

Finished "Centinelas de Oro" about noon yesterday and put it up for sale within an hour.   Ebay, 2 Facebook pages, my Art Journal, Linked In and a Studio Newsletter.  Big mistake.  Gabe Abrums called from Chimayo Trading to say that a lady was in the gallery first thing this morning ready to buy.  Said the painting was still wet and there was no way I could let it go now.  This work took 2 months to paint. After some careful thought, just sent email declining offer - I have taken it off the market.  Why? Because I want to avoid feeling the loss of it right now.

Gave up doing art shows for that very same reason.  Two years of intense work.  Holding the work back from the market with only a hint of future sales. Huge investment in framing the paintings.  No money.  The build up to showtime - crazy excitement - many, many collectors....a sell out. Money enough to pay the all the back bills I which I juggled for two years.  Yay!  Not much left over.  The morning after I sat in a lawn chair on the patio and sobbed.  All the walls in my house were empty and I felt profound loss.    It took a good long while for me to find my balance and get back to work. Not everything is about the money!

Time to do the dishes - fold the laundry. Wait for the wind to die down. 

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Holy Thursday - Phone call from Gabe this morning that Centinelas de Oro has sold less than 24 hours after completion! More than a few awkward moments when I told him that I had taken the painting off the market and wanted to keep it.  He said the price had already been paid in full. Felt I was being coerced into selling "Donna, after all we have done for you!" A guilt trip.  He convinced me it was going to a good home.  Just wish I had a little more time to live with this painting - it might be easier to let go. I have to give it more thought. My feelings of loss are not going away. 

 

WORD PAINTINGS #115 - INTO THE GREAT UNKNOWN

 

“The images of peace are ephemeral. The language of peace is subtle. The reasons for peace, the definitions of peace, the very idea of peace have to be invented, and invented again.

Children, everybody, here’s what to do during war: In a time of destruction, create something. A poem. A parade. A community. A school. A vow. A moral principle. One peaceful moment.”—From THE FIFTH BOOK OF PEACE, Maxine Hong Kingston

8 April 2022 (Llano Quemado, New Mexico) -  Am in a state of disquiet.  A highly anticipated visit from my family last week devolved into chaos over my Power of Attorney, Will and who gets their name on my checking account.  It is hard for me to recall a time when there was true kindness between these people.     My vision of the last day of my life is peaceful - and hopefully I will be able to conclude my rather long and colorful journey to that Big Easel in the Sky with some modicum of dignity and grace.  The only answer for me at this moment seems to be retreat.

 9 April 2022 (Llano Quemado) - It takes me a few days to regain my balance after a family drama - this one was a full week.  Telling myself I needed a rest, I put my brushes down and just quit for days.  Hurt and anger lingered in my house - the walls vibrated with their scratchy noise. Finally the air began to soften and some ordinariness settled in. Doing dishes, watering plants, folding clothes always brings me round.  Doing one's tasks for their own sake is a moving meditation which allows the harshness to fade. Right now the whole world feels off its axis - spinning out of control and the tragic events in the world breed uncertainties and fears which affect everyone.  We need to create some peaceful moments!!!!  More words will only make this worse - let it go, let it all go.   

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Two 24"x30"frames delivered yesterday one painting that size is almost completed and the other will be sketched out tomorrow.  Three orders of art supplies from Jerry's Artarama this morning - tubes and tubes of oil paint - Holbein, Grumbacher, Gamblin.    Setting up a new palette tomorrow morning - big globs of juicy colors - waiting for some new brushes.  Only a few hours left to finish my new 30"x40" piece "Centinelas de Oro" - autumn trees over the Rio Grande at Pilar.  (You are invited to visit my Art Journal for color notes for this underpainting - https://donnaclair.blogspot.com/)  Coffee, breakfast and a whole new day begins tomorrow - small adventures with my colors and canvases. 

High spring winds this afternoon. My neighbor's little black dog still chases the dust devils as they form. Watching him spin and twirl in the clouds of sandy dust brings the world right again. Sometimes it is just the small things that lift my spirits.    The field in front of my house is greening up and the birdsongs are sweet enough to make one weep!  No sign of my friend the little red fox - she might be in a secret burrow with her kits.... it's that time of year.

10 April 2022 (Llano Quemado) - Spring is a-roar!!!  Strong winds buffeting this house on a hill. No birdsongs this morning - the little ones are in hiding. The foothills and Taos Mountain blurred by the dense sandy air.  Slow to wake up.  Opened my iPad, checked my e.mail and absently clicked the PBS app - and there it was again - the BIG SONIA documentary.  Sonia Warshawski - a Holocaust survivor - one of my all time greatest heroines!!!  Life energy - hope and inspiration.  Wish I could thank you, beautiful lady! Just the shot I needed right now. There are at least 10 to fifteen medium to large canvases which have been painted in my head - yes, that is how it all starts. Sometimes it takes a week until the finished work. Other more complicated pieces might swirl around in that old brain of mine for a couple of years before the canvases taste the paint!  Planning to post this finished painting tomorrow.  It is Easter - a time of renewal and I am ready!  - Thank you, Sonia!!! Time to create some paintings....an empty-handed leap into the Great Unknown!

PEACE!

 

WORD PAINTINGS #114 - WINTER WORK!

17 February 2022 - SNOW DAY!!!  A few warm and balmy days this week followed by a big, belching blizzard this morning! I love it!!  Breakfast, coffee and now to settle in for a quiet day of painting.

WORD PAINTINGS #113 - INTO THE DREAMTIME

I dream a lot. I do more painting when I'm not painting. It's in the subconscious.

One's art goes as far and as deep as one's love goes.

It's all in how you arrange the thing... the careful balance of the design is the motion.

-Andrew Wyeth-

29 November 2021 (Llano Quemado, New Mexico) - Empty canvases in every corner of my studio; each one has a planned image just waiting to be sketched and painted.  

20 December 2021 - Today is blustery and cold - intermittent snow showers.  Pinto beans in the crockpot.  Making chicken stock in another pot on the stove.  The house smells "happy"!  Have worked all week on a series of new small paintings. Those larger blank canvases are still staring at me!

 Haven't posted to this blog since late August.  Finished my large painting Thunderspirits and it is now consigned to Chimayo Trading in Ranchos. Time to take stock before moving forward.  Small studies - five finger exercises.

29 December 2021 (Llano Quemado, New Mexico) - Have I been lazy, or am I just getting old?  Certainly a lot slower now.  Haven't had "words" to share for months.  Life changes and we shed the old and slowly become new again.  This process takes Time and Silence.   

Damn Christmas Eve! Seven years now since the death of my son.  Naively I thought I might escape that annual trip to the dark side. Silly me!  Weeping and wailing - memories - profound loss.   The  usual year-end reviews everywhere I look....the upcoming anniversary of that tragically historic day, January 6th. The new Omicron virus overloading hospitals, decimating previous Covid-19 records. Damn!!!!  It would be too easy to fold my tent - give up!!! Retire? Walking into my studio area that big old clunker easel stares at me and I know it isn't time to put away my brushes. 

Dawn...silence...the grey morning light reveals a fresh covering of snow.  Across the fields a far away neighbor's happy Christmas lights blink brightly.  This is a New Day - the coming New Year a complete mystery - another New Beginning!

WORD PAINTINGS #112 - DUST DEVILS AND A DOUBLE RAINBOW!

 

12 August 2021 -Llano Quemado, New Mexico - Early Evening view from my front portal - storm has moved off to Eastern foothills.  The sun is coming in low from the West.

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15 August 2021 - Low rumblings and grumblings - thunder and dark clouds moving in from the eastern foothills in front of my house.  Weather-wise this past week was one for the books.  Last Monday we were befogged by smoke from wildfires all around us - California, Arizona, Colorado.  The air was heavy and it became hard to breathe!  Muscle aches - itchy red eyes.  It is possible there aren't enough brave firemen in the whole world capable of containing these catastrophes.  We complained of the physical inconvenience, but I can't imagine what it is like for the victims of these fires and the men and women trying to contain them.

 

The air began to clear on Wednesday.  Prayed for rain to dissipate the smoke.  By late Thursday our prayers were answered!  If wishes were fishes....  Skies darkened in the east and wild and wacky winds whipped up a series of dust devils (mini tornadoes of loose sand and soil) beginning on the road in front of my house.  My neighbors big crazy wind-loving dog escaped from his front yard.  He waited on the road; as the little tornadoes began to form he raced with the wind - jaws open and ears flapping running hell-bent toward my house.  When he could go no further he ran back to the road and waited patiently for the next whirlwind to form.  Watched him from the window for about fifteen full speed trips!  Finally exhausted he slowly walked back to his house - Mother Nature definitely delivered some giant chills and thrills for this brave little guy.

The heaviness of the storm lifted and the sun broke through from the west.  Still some dark clouds and then the magic happened - a double rainbow!  For at least an hour, breathless, I went from one window to another in awe of the special effects.  One more marvelous treat at sunset....  a puffy halo of pink clouds over the  peaks of Tres Orejas in the west.  What a day!!  

The mountains and clouds in this new place have me hypnotized.  Below is my most recent painting called Taos Morning Clouds.  The bottom two-thirds of the canvas was completed but did not have a vision to complete the sky.  I was stumped and all progress came to a halt. One morning I walked past my easel still half asleep, raised the window shade and over Taos Mountain monsoon clouds were beginning to form.  Perfection!  Definitely a special gift from my Art Gods!!! 

TAOS MORNING CLOUDS - New 24"x36" - Sold

At least six new paintings in the early stages of completion.  On the easel - Thunderspirit - a  30"x40" monsoon cloud which rose up one afternoon.  Spending

many afternoons sitting on a bench under the portal of my house just watching clouds.  And....a special 20"x20' canvas from a delightful afternoon spent with my daughter Sarah.  These two canvases make me happy!  Sending virtual hugs to Art Friends everywhere!!! DC