WORD PAINTINGS #136 - ART GODS AND LIFE ARROWS

      HOLY FAMILY WITH FOUR SAINTS AND A FEMALE DONOR - Antonio Rimpata 1509-1531

WORD PAINTINGS # 136 (How I Came to New Mexico and learned about Life and Art)

 28 August 2023 - Art Gods and Life Arrows ! Reunion! How amazing that this image came back into my life after I saw the original painting for first time over sixty years ago!  Looked for it everywhere, but mistakenly attributed it to an Italian painter named Mantegna. Last month a Facebook friend who works at the Amsterdam Museum posted a Mantegna and I sent her a query about this painting. She is an amazing art resource and found this photo the same day even though it had been painted by an artist named Rimpata! 

During the early '60s I worked as a secretary for Holiday Magazine on the 23rd Floor of the Prudential Building.  The Chicago Art Institute was only blocks away from the office and I spent many, many lunch hours looking at paintings....Impressionists, the Orientalists and Renaissance rooms. This image still takes my breath away!  Stopped in my tracks I sat in front of it for hours studying the magnificent pattern of light on the figures.  With all my heart I wanted to be a "real" painter. This piece enthralled and humbled me at the same time because it showed me the obvious - I was very young and I didn't even know what I didn't know!  

Signed up for night classes in the basement of the Institute.  Bought a portfolio and large newsprint pad - some charcoal and a kneaded eraser.  The fumes of oil paints, turpentine and linseed oil in those hallways gave me so much joy! I wanted to live in that place. After several "lessons" it became clear that my teacher had no idea of what I needed from him.  He kept telling us to BE FREE! What the hell did that mean? Not knowing where to begin - unaware of even the basics that underlie a finished painting, I was a blank canvas.  He was a beatnik and this was his night job and he was not at all inspiring!  Picked up my portfolio before the end of the semester and walked out - a little sad, but still determined to find My Way!

Put my portfolio together and sent in my application to be a full-time student at the school. One of about 4000 applicants only 600 hundred were accepted!  Full tuition needed to be paid the first year and  applications for grants and scholarships would be determined the second year of study. I was accepted as a  first year student.  Asked my father to forego the financial help I was giving them so I could pay my tuition.  Even today I can still feel him standing over me and barking "No daughter of mine will ever be an artist!!!" I was determined to find a way out. 

Painting is a craft - a puzzle and it takes a whole lifetime to fit the pieces together. These figures in this great work were composed on a very large well-prepared canvas (how do you prepare a canvas?) and the lights and shadows tell the story of the importance of the figures.  I later learned about "glazing" but that word did not exist in my art vocabulary! 

This painting still resides at the Art Institute. In a way it was good that I never really made it to art school. My path of learning took me to Santa Fe, Truchas, Taos, Guatemala - many years and many adventures!  Who knew? Expressing my gratitude to Signor Rimpata (my first Art God) and my kind friend in Amsterdam.  What I didn't know about painting then has taken me a lifetime of searching and learning - and several thousand paintings later there is still so much to learn - one day at a time. DC

WORD PAINTINGS #135 - STORMY WEATHER

WORD PAINTINGS #135 (How I came to New Mexico and Learned about Life and Art)  

19 August 2023 (Llano Quemado, New Mexico) -  Remnants of a HURRICANE are headed our way!  The outer bands of rain are predicted for sometime tomorrow. The last major storm headed through Mexico and the California Coast 84 years ago in September 1939 - the month I was born!!  Headed straight for Baja and deep into California. Latest update: the storm is edging eastward. People boarding up their windows, loading sandbags - preparing for disastrous flooding.  People in Florida are still recovering from their hellish storm last year.  Devastation is quick - recovery is slow.  The winds are picking up this afternoon - waiting for rain!  Fires, floods, pandemics.....

84 years later....Wondering if  this is an omen - that I have come full circle and now it is time to pack up my easel and put my paints and brushes away! As mentioned in an earlier post, the prolonged heat wave knocked the stuffing out of me.  Now that the weather is cooler am finding it difficult to regain my momentum. Damn!!!  Blocked in small studies and set out a palette of fresh paints - maybe tomorrow....

The Indictments are also taking their toll....we are going into Season 70 of the hellish Tr__pathon!  This is way more serious than previous political clown shows in that the news is so pervasive and shocking - and as a nation we are numb from the blatant insanity.  A nation with a bad case of PTSD!  Spoke with a beloved relative yesterday. He began a rant on children in his state being read graphic sex stories in the first grade....and parents turning their children trans through unnecessary surgeries.  There was no use arguing - this is what he truly believes and I love him dearly.  Told him as gently as I could that we are on opposite sides, but I am heartbroken!!! SAD......I really want to go back to bed and stay there forever! It is no comfort that many other families are in this same position with loved ones.   Note:(Had a strong sponsor in AA 38 years ago. Whenever I had a serious case of "monkey-mind" she would quietly tell me to "Do whatever makes you Sane!!!)

Okay, Donna - Knockers up!!! I would love to wallow in the sadness for at least a week, but my motto is "As long as there is breath in my body, I need to keep moving"!!!  Pulling out the monumental George Carlson tome of his art and career and plan to be inspired once more.  Am always energized by his work. Then a book on Victor Higgins and at least an hour of staring at my all-time favorite painting  called "A Winter Funeral".     It might take me until Monday to cleanse out the dust and grime collected during this dry spell - total immersion in my art life.) By that time Hurricane Hillary (oh, the irony) should be downgraded to a tropical storm! 

Coming up Next - Chapter Two of "Dreams of Distant Places - ART GODS AND LIFE ARROWS). 

"HUICHOL" Pastel on Sanded paper by Donna Clair - At the International Folk art Museum, Santa Fe, New Mexico

WORD PAINTINGS #134 - DREAMS OF DISTANT PLACES!

13 July 2023 (Llano Quemado, New Mexico)  As I approached the bedroom window this morning my little red fox streaked by in her hurry to go places! A huge layer of dark storm clouds hung over the distant mountains called Tres Orejas.  Across West Romero Road my neighbor released his flock of doves for their morning flyover!  Their wings shone silver against the dark blue sky.  They flock together and reconnect on a roof nearby......sunrise! Another fine day on the Llano !! 

9 August 2023 (Llano Quemado) - Yes, the heat wave flattened me! Now I know why old people die during a prolonged period of intense hot weather. No air conditioning, just fans. No breezes, just unbearably hot air.   Unable to cook, didn't eat much - forgot to pay bills. Painting was out of the question. Finished "Cloud People" on 22 June - no time at the easel since.  Tried, but gave up. Finally a small shower enough to cool the gasping earth. Then one good rainstorm - no fans, windows open to the cool breezes - Aaaah!  Yesterday was  the best day. Tended to much needed  personal upkeep - a great night's sleep and here I am all over again! Revived!  Ready, set go!!!

DREAMS OF DISTANT PLACES

 

As a young child I had an ever constant urge to run away....disappear, become invisible. My safe place was in pages of many, many books. My first library card was the very best day of my young life!! At least five books a week - every evening after dinner interesting people became my friends escaped into distant places and exotic cultures!However...of course there is always "something" that holds one's dreams hostage. At an early age I was beginning my inner adventure with agoraphobia and severe panic attacks. Those conditions were never diagnosed and my family described me as "extremely shy".  Thanks to those wonderful Walter Foster art books, I was learning to draw!  Basic shapes, shadows, composition - books, drawing, painting -I disappeared into my own kind of happiness....

Fast forward to my junior year at Pulaski High in Milwaukee. I began to open up and let the sun shine in....one friend, one class at a time. Mr. Calabrese sat me in the front row of his Biology class - called on me often. Answered all questions and fostered in me a surprising glimpse of  self-confidence. He ignored the fact that I skipped two days of school when the class dissected frogs! Still love him for understanding.

Sara Fernald taught World Literature and introduced me to Henrik Ibsen, the Brontes and Thomas Hardy. I experienced the absolute joy of reading deep and complex stories. My confidence in my own abilities began to grow. She taught me the beauty of WORDS! and was the first teacher that truly "got me!"  Believe she remembered herself at the age of 15. Always available to suggest a new book, play or author - she opened my world in unimaginable ways. Named one of my twins "Sarah".

My Hero - Mr. Dodge (alias Mr. Peepers to his students) art teacher extraordinaire!  A wiry middle-aged man with the appearance of a startled chicken due to a thin shock of hair that stood straight up in the center of his head!  He encouraged beyond all others in the class; gave me special assignments and urged me to enter two local contests which I won! I can still picture him coming to my desk with curiosity and excitement over the day's lesson.

Ole! Ole! Here come the Spanish Queens of the Foreign Language Department - The Misses Flynn and Schaefer!!! What a Dynamic Duo!  Ms. Flynn was a short, plump and very jolly Irish lady with bright red hair.  Ms. Schaefer was  usually quite straight-laced and serious when she taught my Beginning Spanish Class. Every Spring Break they packed their bags and headed to somewhere in Latin America!  In 1956 they spent their whole vacation in Guatemala - Easter Sunday in Chichicastenango - and returned to my class to excitedly share their adventures.  In my mind I was transported to that strange and exotic place. That sunny spring day  in Milwaukee, Wisconsin I promised my young self that I would spend  some future Easter Sunday in Chichicastenango, Guatemala.  It only took me 40 years......To Be Continued.  

WORD PAINTINGS #133 - WILDERNESS GATE

Word Paintings #133 (How I Came to New Mexico and learned about Art and Life) - WILDERNESS GATE

3 June 2023 - A peaceful sunny Saturday morning. Waking up from one of my "fugues" again, preparing to start early today.  Always feel a little guilty once I come out of this form of hibernation.  Some might say it is time wasted, but a lot of interior work and healing happens - memories are relived, solutions to problems appear like magic.  Am a little slower to emerge now, but here I am - one more beautiful day to enjoy! 

Working on a large painting called "Cloud People", a phrase I heard many years ago from a Native American friend at Picuris Pueblo. The other word I was "given" for stormy clouds was "Thunderspirits".  After 57 years in these mountains I am still crazy in love with this place.  Of all the houses where I have lived during this time, one stands out loudly. The little Hobbit cottage on the horse ranch in Truchas where I separated from the fast paced social scene of Santa Fe and began my journey to become "real" (still becoming).  Deciding to turn my back on the only world I knew allowed me to change. Remembering a painting I did after my neighbor Mr. Fernandez showed me the summer pasture where he kept his herd of cows.  The little dirt road is called "Wilderness Gate" and leads into the forest. High above the trees are the mountains called Truchas Peaks. Yes, that afternoon I walked into the wilderness, the Unknown, and was forever changed.

Group hike to Truchas Peaks - it sounded like a good idea, but...and there is always that momentary hesitation.....After sitting at an easel for years, I certainly was in no shape to take this trek to the top of Truchas Peak but got caught up in all the excitement of preparation for the hike - I was ready to Trek!!!. We all began the journey together at Wilderness Gate, but the fast pace of my group just left me farther and farther behind. Finally, I knew I couldn't catch up - out of breath and feeling I was definitely ready for that Big Easel in the Sky, I found myself in a clearing surrounded by deep forest beside a small stream very much bewildered and alone!.  Sat down on a log and gave into panic - I did not know how to find my way back to Carmelita's house!

My survival skills were sharply honed in other areas due to crazy family, tumultuous relationships and trying to raise three hungry munchkins.  Finding my way out of the wilderness was not on my dance card. Remembered meeting a longtime Truchas resident then in her 80's.  Her name was Eve Featheringill. Sometime in her 20's she bought a burro in Santa Fe. Packed it up with supplies and trekked through the wilderness alone, following the old mining trails. Finally she reached Truchas and stayed.  Thought of her often during my ever increasing bewilderment.  Imagined she reached some stage of enlightenment during her journey - sadly Nirvana escaped me and I was afraid!

The sun was setting - it was getting cold and I faced the coming night waiting for a bear to swallow me whole!  My shoes were still soaked and my feet were getting numb. Decided to walk downhill beside the stream - logic told me that was the way out - what the hell did I know? As I was headed toward the stream, I heard loud voices and much laughter.  An ebullient group of hikers had reached the top of Truchas Peak and all were in a high state of exhilaration.  Surprise, surprise - there I stood, utterly weak with relief! 

One kind man separated from his group and listened to my story.   I was invited to join them in the walk to the parking area. We all climbed into their car. They dropped me  off at Carmelita's door and the welcoming aroma of enchiladas!

Sent my new "buddies" off with big hugs and kisses -- and much, much gratitude. The kind man who listened to my story sent me off with some profound  parting words  ...."Remember, Donna, find people who walk at your own speed!" Another angel on the long Road of Life!

 

WORD PAINTINGS #132 - ITS RAINING MEN!!

 

WORD PAINTINGS # 132 (How I came to New Mexico and learned about Art and Life - ITS RAINING MEN!!

13 May 2023 - First thing Monday Morning Sheriff Montoya knocked on my door with some ominous-looking papers in his hand.  Whew - he wasn't looking for me! Wrong house and got back into his Sheriff's car and headed down the road. Noticed a VM on my phone - it was the Gas Company saying that my gas had been turned off - I needed to get a plumber and then make an appointment with the State Inspector in order to have things turned on again.  Panic. Large trailer showed up in front of my neighbor's house the night before - earth movers.  As the day went on - mysteries and synchronicity!  And more was revealed.

The earth movers made their way to the back yard, followed by a group of hefty men. The men began digging a new leach field - and they dug for two days! Leading them was my landlord's son. Then came the plumber. Consensus of opinion was that the huge trailer carrying the earthmoving equipment took out the gas meter. Four houses, this house included, had no gas service.  Thinking this project would last into next week, I began to scramble - electric coffee pot, hot plate from Wal-Mart, burrito from Mary Jane's.

Big Mystery - who was responsible for the damage???? Am certain there were many many phone calls between landlord, construction company, septic service, gas company, plumber, State Inspector.  The whole yard was being dug up - new gravel, new pipes!  Honestly it was an amazing show to watch. In a slightly twisted way, I enjoyed all the activity - there is a definite drama to heavy earth moving machines and the concentration it takes to make things happen - it was  a "man dance"!  Oh, the testosterone! Synchronicity! It looked as though it was choreographed!  Kudos to everyone involved - they performed a miracle.  What an exciting 2 days!!!

Gas company installed new meter.

State Inspector came in the middle of the night to check the new meter!!!! And on the second day....the gas came back on - plumber came in to turn on appliances. My landlord's son dealt with the gas company for me. Let there be GAS!!!!

The Sheriff did some sleuthing and found a car down the road with the imprint of the gas meter on the grill - the suspect confessed. Mystery solved. Landlord and workers breathed heavy sigh of relief that they had no responsibility in the outage - plumber, workers, landlord and me all smiles - life got back to normal.  No more drama!  One worker returned to pick up the construction trash - it was over. So quiet!  Watched the sun set over Tres Orejas....

A few weeks ago I did a study of a cloud painting called Summer Storm - and decided it should be larger - 40"x30".  Here is the Work in Progress - I began the sketch on Tues. when all the craziness began - some burps and stops since then - spring cleaning, framing new paintings - but here it is so far (see above) - I have great hope for this one.

Oh, and the coronation! Considering all the homeless, hungry people in the world, I felt that gold coat was a little over the top - all I can say is that the Windsors need to remember what happened to the Romanovs!!! Just saying  - 

This Sunday is definitely a day of well-earned rest!  A very late new beginning! DC

  

WORD PAINTINGS #131 - UNCOMPETITIVE PURPOSEFULNESS

 

        "NOCHECITA" (Trujillo Road - Llano Quemado, New Mexico) New! 8"x10" Original Oil

WORD PAINTINGS #131 (How I Came to New Mexico and learned about Art and Life!) - UNCOMPETITIVE PURPOSEFULNESS!!!

30 April 2023 - Saying Farewell to winter and "Hola" to Spring!  It is a quiet Sunday morning here on Llano Quemado.  Woke up with a long "to do" list running through my brain until I remembered that I have given myself a weekly reprieve for this "day of rest". 

It has been a month since writing about the dicey stay in the ER at Holy Cross last September.  Many days focusing on "mortality" and "retirement".  Finally decided that sometimes the difference between staying alive and brain death are small daily choices.  This isn't a fight I wanted to have at my age. From the time I was a young child, my only purpose was to raise my children and paint.  There it is - PURPOSE!!!  Rather than plop around in my own thoughts of perpetual darkness, I decided to take out this ad in the Taos Gallery Guide, believing that Centinelas de Oro was one of my best canvases to come off the easel!

 

About this time last year I decided to leave my gallery and just wing it again.    Having done this before, it was a little scary.  In this process I remembered all the other times I felt like a "cash cow" and walked away from the hype.  This has always been my way of maintaining artistic integrity and a healthy creative life . Turned down a sure sale because it was absolutely necessary for me to sit with this painting for a year before deciding to let it go. Hoped with all my heart this work could stay in Taos where it belonged!

Buying this ad renewed my self-confidence and PURPOSE!  Within a day of its publication the painting found its forever home and was "adopted" by a local family just down the road. The man had visited my studio on Santistevan Lane over 30 years ago, but waited for his perfect piece. He and his wife had decided that this was "the one" before they ever set foot in my studio! We three hugged and cried.  Told them it felt like a "divine appointment"!   My spark was lit one more time! 

Now what??? Later next month I will celebrate my 37th year of sobriety thanks to all my angels and helpers along the way.  My sponsors drummed into my brain that life needs to be lived One Day at a Time!  Who can do that when a hundred images run through your head - empty canvases as far as my mind can see!  Well, here I am where time matters and I need to make creative choices on a daily basis.  It turns out that my choice to be on my own again was a solid decision because I no longer feel the need to
compete and am free to choose what to paint one day at a time.  This might be called a late in life New Beginning- a new adventure! Amazing Grace....DC

 

 

WORD PAINTINGS #130 - A CAUTIONARY TALE

WORD PAINTINGS # 130 (How I Came to New Mexico and learned about Art and Life) - A CAUTIONARY TALE!

Sometimes when we least expect it, Life Happens!!

Had a fall last September (I slid rather ungracefully to my bedroom floor) - was unable to raise myself up.  The EMTs arrived and were concerned that my oxygen levels were very low.  They put me in an ambulance and whisked me to the Emergency Room at Holy Cross Hospital. What happened next was Terrifying!!!!  The ER doctor asked what happened and I pointed to my right knee and said "I leg lifted 400 lbs....." - with that she left the room and didn't hear me add "25 years ago and my right knee gives way now and I fell this morning."  

She got on the phone with my son-in-law a retired brain surgeon. He and I hadn't had any contact for long time, so he didn't have a clue to my state of mind or physical condition. Together they, along with one of my helpers, decided that I needed to be transferred to the Psych Ward for evaluation.  The "brain" surgeon diagnosed me with delusions of grandeur!  Through some miracle, they reached my daughter Sarah in Germany - 3AM and she's in bed with Covid.  Finally she convinces the girl at the desk that she had seen me only ten days before and besides - she had my Power of Attorney!!! 

Why am I sharing this story?  Certainly not for entertainment! This is a cautionary tale to anyone of a certain age who hasn't done the work of making end of life choices. I know, I know - but if I had been sent for evaluation, my rise in blood pressure from the fear would have caused them to medicate me.  Once I was medicated I was just an 83 year old woman with delusions of grandeur.  I would have no more choices about anything. All my belongings - my easels, paints, brushes, precious things would be scattered to the winds. (Remember that scene in Zorba the Greek when the woman dies in the village her neighbors take all her things in minutes and empty her little house to the bones?) I would have been sent to some old people's orphanage and left there just staring at the gray walls just waiting for someone - anyone - to visit!!!  Do your homework!!! Don't wait for a medical crisis!!!

Thanks to Sarah, I had a stay of execution.  I had no injuries and was released from the hospital that evening....along with a new and very noisy companion in the form of a respirator and a very long hose that follows me all over the house 24/7.  It is an awkward ballet daily to avoid the loops and tangles, but am still able to get to the easel every day.  Still making plans for new work. As long as there is breath in my body I plan to keep moving - albeit just a little bit slower now!  (Read Amy B. Scher's amazing book This is How I Save My Life.)

Footnote: I finally realized that the smoke from the horrific Hermit's Peak Fire compromised my oxygen levels and it was hard for me to catch my breath.  Also experienced a "fogginess" - couldn't concentrate.  If you are of a certain age and lived through those unbearable days of heavy smoke anywhere near this fire - check with your doctor.  Have them check your oxygen capacity! My PA says that they have noticed more oldsters with some breathing difficulties. Finally take the time to appoint "your person in the world" - Trust them with your the Power of Attorney...put your End of Life Choices in writing.

Now I am going to have a cup of coffee and head back to my easel to paint another day! 

Best regards, Donna

PS - a few months before I fell, I purchased a Thrive Medical Alert system through Amazon. At first I hated wearing that medallion every day - but I was able to get the help I needed by just pressing  button!  When one gets to the ripe old age of 83 the word for the day is ADAPT!!!